The Chainsmokers Closer Creeper Love Valentine's Day & Anniversary Card (PLAYS ACTUAL SONG)
Size: 7 inches x 5 inches
Sound: "So, baby, pull me closer/ In the back seat of your Rover/ That I know you can't afford/ Bite that tattoo on your shoulder/ Pull the sheets right off the corner/ Of that mattress that you stole/ From your roommate back in Boulder/ We ain't ever getting older"
Design by Mentis Design
Background: Some of us get a little tired after following a person for a few blocks. But if you've been stalking your crush for years, then god bless you. You are loyal, dedicated & obsessed. Probably more so than the typical boyfriend or girlfriend. You take the time out to learn about all aspects of your stalkee's life including who their friends are, where they live, you even know their mom's license plate by heart. Your hard work deserves to be recognized. Let your target know it's the anniversary of the day you first spotted them, or take that next step and be their Valentine.
On July 29, 2016, American DJ duo The Chainsmokers dropped a fire single titled Closer thats got all the white girls all over the world singing along while tightly gripping their Starbucks coffee. The song features singer Halsey as well as vocals by one of the Chainsmokers, Andrew Taggart. The single is a EDM song with a "retro" style synthesizer in the chorus.
It's a hit inspired by Blink 182 and Taking Back Sunday, and hits us right in feels. The first time you hear it you're reminded about all the good times you had with all your exes. By the 500th time you hear the song, you'll remember again why you hate your ex and possibly this song. Halsey kills it on her verse, however the homie Andrew Taggart could use some work, as evidenced by his 2016 MTV Video Music Award performance.
When you're ready to upgrade your status from stalker to love interest, this probably isn't the best way to do it, but it'll definitely be the funniest/creepiest.