Size: 7 inches x 5 inches
Sound: "Evil Laugh"
Birthday gifts are hard to give. You don't know if the person already has whatever it is you're considering or if they'll have a need for it. This debate usually occurs when a person first invites you to their birthday dinner/party and does not see the light of day until the morning of the birthday when you realize "Oh shit. I still didn't get a gift." This card makes it seem like you gave it a lot of thought, but didn't at the same time. Happy Birthday!
In 2014, the Oscar winning movie Muppets Most Wanted was released. The movie featured a scene in which everyone's favorite virgin frog, Kermit, is confronted by his look-a-like nemesis, Constantine, who is dressed in a black cloak.
On November 6th, 2016, Twitter user @aaannnnyyyyaaaa tweeted a screenshot of Kermit the Frog standing next to a Sith version of himself with the caption "me: sees a fluffy dog / me to me: steal him"
This inspired the Evil Kermit image series which features a screenshot of the Muppet character talking with his nemesis dressed as a Sith Lord from Star Wars who instructs him to perform various indulgent, lazy, selfish and unethical acts.
Finally, a card that makes it seem like you gave a birthday gift a lot of thought but your evil side prevented you from following your heart. Plays evil laugh when opened.