It's common for us to hear about how dogs are the most loyal animals yada yada yada. We would argue that turtles are pretty loyal too but that's not the title of this post. The most loyal living things are plants. Let us explain.
Until a few months ago, the crib used to be bare, trying to keep up with the trend of minimalism (you know when the apartment is decorated like no one's living there). It's a clean look until the walls start telling you to develop a personality and decorate. Btw, talking to walls is more lit than reading youtube comments trying to decipher a Young Thug song. Turns out its not only for schizophrenics.
Anyways, installing art is an option and so is painting the walls, but we're not about to start hammering nails into the same walls we're talking to. That's super rude (or should we say super unwelcome ;). It's like having a conversation with someone and then sticking a metal spike through their eye. It's OD messed up. #RespectYourWalls
With walls out of the question, the decor must be something free standing. We could do as the Romans did and spam the crib with statues of tiny naked dicks and A cup breasts, but the good marble is way out of our budget. Vases? Nah, glass and ceramic break easier than a Kit Kat Bar. Gimmie a break. Gimmie a break. Gimmie a piece of that Kit Kat Bar. (PLEASE NOTE NO KIT KAT BARS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF THIS ARTICLE).
As we continue down our list, the next available option is plants. First of all, did you know how many plants exist in the world? Even the amount of variety available to buy and keep in the house is sicko mode. We're not too good with plant names and we never were good at school so we're gonna avoid looking up anything of value and continue writing this post completely freestyle. #SorryNotSorry You're Unwelcome.
Luckily our laziness didn't stop us from copping some plants. We went to Brooklyn Plantology at 26 Brooklyn Terminal Market, 1510, Brooklyn, NY 11236. We got a couple that we put up in the corners like they're kids in timeout, which give the 50 shades of grey walls and furniture a pop of color. The green stands out like an elephant amongst a flock of seagulls.
We also copped some desk plants and an orchid which is actually pronounced or-kid, like when you give you're significant other the option of spending your hard earned money on a vacation paradise or kid. We don't have kids yet, but already know a vacation is more worth it.
Speaking of kids, the plants are much more well behaved, don't need too much except water and sunlight, and can sit still in one place. Even dogs require more of your time, i.e walking, picking up after them, and chasing after them to stop chewing on your Xbox controller. Plants don't bark, they don't pee, and they don't bite. You can watch them grow from seed to tree if you choose to raise them, or you can adopt one at the size of your choice.
Anyway, long story short, go out cop a plant. They make life a little better. Steal one from the outside and domesticate it if you must.